My Life's "Aha Moment"

                                    

While browsing through other blogs I found one that caught my attention. It said there is a bus that is traveling around the country, recording people talking about their life's Aha moment. Their definition of an "aha moment" is "a moment of clarity... where you gain real wisdom - wisdom you can use to change your life."

It made me wonder....have I had an "Aha moment"? It did not take me long to remember one that change me.  

I would have been in my thirties when Dad decided to move to Chicago (Addison) and work with his Uncle Frank. Mom was going to stay here in Decatur and Dad would come home on weekends. It seemed like a good plan to both of them.
Dad got things all lined up to go. I think it was even before he left that things began to change. He had always been a gruff man. But the closer it got to the time of his leaving the more sentimental he became. He was finding it hard to leave his home and his wife.
I remember being out in the garage with Dad, he hugged me and said "I love you".  We did not say that much in my family....maybe not at all...until that moment.  My Dad's arms were still around me when his tears started to flow....MY DAD.... was crying on my shoulder. He said "I want to tell your Mom I Love her but I have a hard time. I want her to know that I love her." 
Now usually I am the one crying, especially if I tried to tell anyone how I felt about my dad. But in this moment I did not cry. I was the strong one....for my dad.

It is in that moment that I grew up, I changed, and I knew I could be strong.

As I write this I see that not only was this my "Aha Moment" but that my dad had a BIG "Aha Moment". The move made him realize how much home and his wife meant to him. It did change him forever. He was a much better husband to her after that.

Dad was eventually able to tell Mom...kind of...my strong gruff Dad told her "I want to tell you ..." and then broke down crying. And Mom patted him and said, "I know, Marv, and I love you too."
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                                            And Yes,
                                                                 After that
                                    Marv did say to Evelyn
                                             "I love you"
                                       For the next 24 years.

The Old Wooden Bench

As I look around my backyard I am pleased to see things that remind me of my parents home. I have a trellis that I let my pumpkin vines grow up. A bird house that my dad made that wrens currently have a family inside, and two rocking chairs on my patio.
 But my favorite one is a simple old wooden bench. This bench is not much to look at but there is a story that comes with it. 
I will TRY to make a long story short.
In 2003 Mom had an appointment to go to the cancer doctor about a small spot on her lung. As I got to the house to take her to the doctor I found the house in turmoil. Dads port from dialysis had blown and blood was everywhere. It was decided we had to know about Mom, a week of anxiety about cancer was enough. Our friend Triece, a hospice worker, was called and she immediately came and held my dad's arm in a firm grip to stop the bleeding. It was their first meeting. And she became a blood relative in that moment.
(Try to keep it short) 
At the appointment Dr Death said Mom's other lung was full of cancer and she would die soon. WRONG.... ALL WRONG. (Small cancer in left lung, had surgery and doing well 7 years later. )
At the time we left Dr Death all we knew was Mom was going to die. We hurry home to Dad, who can not stop bleeding. We block the news from Moms appointment from our minds as best we could and prepare to take Dad to the hospital. Triece continues to hold his arm so he will not bleed.
The whole time we we're gone Triece had been praying to God for help. She did not know what to do and she begged God to help her and use her to take care of "Mr Sowers".
As we leave the house Triece never let go of Dad's arm. They came down the back steps together. They slid into the car together. They rode to the hospital together. They went into the hospital together.
(Try to keep it short) We got Dad to the Springfield hospital. Still could not stop the bleeding. Cocky young doctor thought he knew the problem, he had Triece release her hold and removed the bloody towel. The doctor was surprised when the blood came out like a 2 foot wide waterfall and splashed all over. We could tell he was shook up. He used a blood pressure cuff to stop the bleeding. And then he left as the nurse held onto Dads arm (Blocking Moms news out) and Triece helped the nurse. That doctor never came back. Hours later we got the right doctor who knew what to do and he stopped the bleeding. Finally 12 hours after Mom's  awful appointment Mom and Marvin went to a hotel to deal with Moms notice of death. I stayed with Dad in the hospital and watched over him. In the night Dad talked to me about coming to at one point with doctors and nurses surrounding him and he thought he had died (probably did) and was at his funeral. Even with the amazing amount of blood he lost, he did not need a transfusion. We could not understand that...until later.
Of course we all talked about this terrible day for weeks and Triece would always say she could not believe how many of our wonderful family came to the house so quickly. The yard was FULL of people as she came out with Dad. 
 3 weeks later I finally I ask her, "Triece, how many people did you see?" She tells me there were 40 or 50 people there. She thought they were relatives of ours.
I have to say "Triece, as I walked out the door behind you I saw a lot of my wonderful family there. But....I saw about 10 people." Triece's eyes opened wide. And she tells me there were groups of people all around the yard. Three here...four there...and they were all praying. There was a group at the edge of the yard...more by the dog pen...some at the end of the sidewalk...huddled in prayer beside the garage. And three at the old wooden bench...2 sitting on it and one standing with one leg propped up on the end...they were in prayer.
They were dressed like the others in yard...they looked like family.
So on that terrible day when Triece was called to help she did not realize that as she prayed and prayed for help from God that He had sent angels that only she could see. Angels that were praying for us.
We made it through that terrible time with Dad and Mom. And as the years went by and Dad got weaker and had more problems we would often think about the angels that were with us that day. We were comforted knowing about them.
In 2008 as Dad made his decision to go off dialysis Triece and I walked around the yard, she pointed out each spot that she saw angels and even though we could not see them now, we knew they were still there....praying.

I almost left that old wooden bench to be sold at auction...but at the last moment I decided to take it home. I am glad I did.
Now when something is worrying me I like to go sit on that old wooden bench and pray. I am hoping that I am joined in prayer ....2 angels sitting beside me and one angel standing with one leg propped up on the end with his elbow resting on his knee.

Thank You God...for family that was always there to help.
 Thank You God...for angels that pray.

This is my old wooden bench where angels have sat.

I placed this little angel under the bench.

Doesn't it look just like my dad as a baby??

Yes..That's how I remember it.

A picture says it all.

This is how I remember it.

Marvin T..1932 and then..1954
Like Father...Like Daughter

Sheryl 1956

He Leadth Me Beside Still Water

I wrote across the big wall

He Leadth Me Beside Still Water

...that was how I started the painting.

One Sunday afternoon in 1997 my mom ask me if I would paint the wall behind the baptismal in West Decatur Church of Gods new building. It would be 15 feet high and 30 feet wide.
And I said

Yes

...without my usual hesitation. I don't know why I felt sure about doing it when I had NEVER painted anything that large. But there it was...YES. Mom said she would donate the supplies and I said I would donate my time and talent. After I bought my supplies...8 tubes of paint, some brushes, and a car wash sponge (used it the most) we set off for the church. When I arrived I found my Uncle Wayne already set up scaffolding so I could get up high and paint the sky. I am leery of heights..but for some reason I felt safe there.

The first thing I did before I started was ask my mom to go to the alter and pray with me.

I prayed that God would use me,
my mind, my heart, my hand to do this painting.

That His blessings be upon this.

I prayed there would be peace and light coming from this painting.

That was the ritual for every time I painted there. We were usually there on our own...some people stopped by, aunts and uncles, curious workers. But for the most part we were alone in quiet....me praying and painting, Mom reading her book or making helpful comments.
Dad would come by and sit and watch sometimes too. Making sure we were safe. I remember the last night it was after midnight and Dad drove all the way out there to check on us. Mom and I were late because we were admiring and marveling at how it had turned out.

I know God guided my hand.

It only took 6 days...36 hours to paint.

Now whenever I see that painting which has peace and light I remember it all started with the words that are wrote beneath it...

He Leadth Me Beside Still Water.

I love this picture of Mom and Dad watching me paint.

I am so glad Uncle Gene took this photo.

A New Year Sign

I believe there are often signs around us and we are too busy to notice. We hurry on our way and miss those little things that God places in our path. Others may notice and think that it is just coincidence. But for me, when I see it....when I notice it...when I realize it....I am in wonder that God has placed before me a sign. He cares for me.

This morning was a freezing cold January morning. I thought of staying at home and not going to church. But this is the first Sunday of 2010. I did want to start it out right. So at the last minute I called Mom to make sure she was going and then I got ready and picked her up.

Once I got there I was glad I went. This was the place to be as I prayed for my friends and family. This was the place to be as I thanked God for the blessings in my life.

Half way through the service the pianist started playing a song. Mom nudged me and nodded her head. There it was....the little signs that I love....

With all the thousands of songs there are, the one being played was my dad's song. "What A Day That Will Be" On this first sunday mornig of 2010 we felt that Dad's spirit was once again reassuring us that all is well. It brought a smile to my lips and a tear to my eyes because I felt it was a special moment of wonder.

Later as the preacher got up and started his sermon I reached inside my purse and pulled out a small index card that I keep in my billfold. I wanted to show it to Mom. This one had been beside my dad's chair and it had his writing on it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

Just as I was showing it to her the preacher said "I want you to turn in your Bibles to Philippians 4:13." Yes, there it was.......the same verse I was holding in my hand.

I believe in signs. I believe in wonder. I believe I am loved from above.